Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Time Is No Enemy. I Promise.

I have been told that you cannot really commit yourself to something until you are emotionally, mentally, and physically ready to.  So far this has held true to me.  I have wanted to start a blog for a couple of years now.  I have even set up my template and profile before I quickly lost interest and never touched it again.  I even have had friends interested in my blog, but that motivation was not enough for me to continue because I was not ready.

My life hasn't been easy, but it also hasn't been difficult considering others.  Yet, for myself, my life can be very difficult to live, lead, and change directions when needed.  I have a purpose and I have an opinion and I have the passion and drive.  So far, I fully believe I am ready to commit to blogging.

I find it difficult to call myself an author when I do not make time to write daily.  How can I write novels if I am not writing?  The answer is that I cannot.  Between work, school, and a relationship, I feel like I barely have time to sleep.  Therefore, I tell myself I definitely do not have time to blog and/or write.  However between my down time and procrastination, I have more than enough time to do what I love.  I just have to make the time.

Now is my time.  And time currently is the theme of my blog.  Time is No Enemy is my blog name for a reason.  A singer/songwriter, Jarrod Gorbel, has written a song called "Cats in Heat."  At the end of his song, there are a few lines that hit me each time.

Keep on telling me that time is no enemy
A worthless struggle to step back
And reconceive

Time has consistently been my enemy.  I blame everything I cannot do on time.  But it isn't my enemy. I am my own worst enemy and the reason I do not get things done is because of my own faults.  But right here and right now, I am taking this time to change my ways and start working through why I feel a certain way, why I act a certain way, and why I seem to not have time or energy for things that I enjoy most.

Welcome to my journey of struggling through depression, holding onto the one's I love the most and through it all just trying to get through the daily struggles of work and being a student.